A Filipina's Response
1. What are some things about a man that no matter how good they may look, you would not want be with them?
Having a standard to follow is helpful because it will serve as a guide in choosing a partner in life. So in my part, I prefer to be with a man who would meet all of my standards. When I was younger, I had a long list of what my ideal man should be which concerned mostly of his physical appearance. Of course, the physical features of a man is what would first draw my attention to him. But if he does not meet my standards then I would not want to be with him. When I became a christian, I grew up in my thoughts and ideals which meant that attitude or character of a man and his spiritual walk in life were added to the list besides his physical aspects. Even the physical aspect of the man I wanted when I was younger changed. But this is not the most important part of a man because a man’s physical features will eventually deteriorate. His soul which determines his true self is more important. So for me if a man does not know how to show respect I wouldn’t want to be with him. If he is having a relationship with somebody when he is courting me then it means he is unfaithful,why then should I be with him? If he loves his money but not me then he should marry his money. It doesn’t necessarily mean he should be rich but he should be capable of providing for the needs of the family he is building but if he is lazy, I’d rather stay single and work. I also prefer to have no relationship with a man who is a drunkard, an addict, a smoker since he will jeopardize my health. If he cannot stand up for me against those who try to destroy our relationship (if we have one) whether it involve members of the family or friends, if he cannot protect me from any harm whether from physical harm or emotional harm then why choose a man who is not willing to risk his life for me? If he is not truly born-again or is not a genuine Christian since I believe that water could never be mixed with oil so why bother to be with a man who doesn’t have the same faith as I do. Most of all, if God is not number one in his life, I wouldn’t want to be with him even if he is the most good looking man in the world I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life.
2. Do you feel Filipina women that look to begin a relationship online may have to change their goals and ideals for a relationship?
I believe that when a Filipina woman is looking for a relationship whether online or not, she shouldn’t change her ideals for a relationship. Some of her goals would experience changes which I think should be the only change she needs to make or accept. If someday she is fortunate enough to meet her man, she would eventually leave her family, friends and country behind. Where she will fulfill her dreams and with whom, that is the only change she needs to accept but her ideals, her standards should not because it defines who she is and who she wants to be with.
3. Do you think it's understood and accepted that men who use this site would never consider moving full time to the Philippines and would expect that if things go well with a woman they meet on the site, that eventually the woman would have to be willing to move to a new country? Is that an intimidating thought?
Filipina women who join a dating site and meet foreign men already has in mind that someday if she is fortunate enough to meet the man of her dreams she would eventually leave her country and be with her man. It is already a norm that if a woman gets married, she will have to move to her husband’s place whether it is in the same country or not. But I think men should be considerate enough to at least stay in the Philippines for a while in order to know the woman and her family and at the same time, they would know him, too. Besides, he will have her for the rest of their lives if things go well between them. Also, it is better if both of them agree on some terms as to how many times they will stay at a certain place. They don’t have to stay full time in one country. He should remember that the woman has a family she will miss if she doesn’t stay even for a short while. He should put his feet in her shoes.